Day 20: Leaving

Woke up, comfortable and well slept. First thing I did was empty my bowels. We started to pack our cases, and were all a bit quiet, sad that we were leaving.

Henry took us to an electronics mall. He'd been going on about it for ages. So we made our way there, and it wasn't impressive. It was like going to PC World, except not buying anything, and instead window shopping. Jonny was amazed though, not sure what about. We did have an interesting side trip though. Like everywhere in Thailand, people were selling porn.

'You want some porn my friend, good porn, good quality, lesbian, hardcore my friend, chicken?'

Yes, we would like to see your chicken porn. It didn't disappoint. We were led into the back of a shop into a tiny stock room filled with porn DVDs. He gave us the bestiality box. It had everything from people fucking goats and horses, to women getting eels shoved up their minges. There is nothing you can't get in Thailand.

'You want child porn?'

So we took a look at the child porn. I'll clear that up, we looked at the selection of DVDs, didn't watch them. 10 year old boys were getting raped on the back, little girls were getting teamed on, small boys were wanking themselves off. It was disgusting. Was it disgusting? It was. I'll say it was. We bought some normal DVDs. I bought some German granny porn (which 3 weeks later, when my internet was broken at home, I had to turn to, and it was fucking awful).

My shits were too bad, so me and Harry went back to the hotel, and the others went to see some temples. Harry beat me at squash 8 times. I think I won one point over the course of the day. The others came back, and we said bye to Imran and Oscar, and piled into a taxi, and left.

The trip was the best I've ever had. So, I apologise if this diary has annoyed any of the people who are in it. I believe the last thing said on the trip was 'what happened here definitely shouldn't get out'. Well some of it was too good to keep a secret. So sorry to those who have girlfriends (Harry and Jonny), or those (Henry) who rang me the minute I said I was putting it up to say 'Here what the fuck you doing, if girls read it, that's me done. You've got to think about reputation man.' And to Mo for releasing his secret about his virginity. It's a year later now, and he still hasn't lost it. But he will do one day. I may have harmed my chances with any girls who read this, but remember that I did last for over 30 minutes each time, and I'm more than willing to lick you out.

So, that is all.